Brain dump thoughts about homeschooling

I'm not really sure what I actually learned in school.  I mean, besides the basic reading, writing and math and some general information and maybe some, like, HOW to learn things...I really can't tell you anything.  The real learning that I did, the information that I know now, the things that I am able to explain to my kids when they have questions about stuff, THAT did not come from school.  I'm pretty sure all that info came from life experience.  As I got older and became interested in certain things, had questions that made me want to delve deeper into the subject to find the answers, I learned.

I was not a "school" person.  I loved going to see my friends and all the extra curricular stuff about school, but ultimately I didn't really care about sitting in class "learning" and like I said, I don't really think I did.

As a homeschooler now, I am kinda struggling with some things related to this.  When Vi wants to know why she has to learn about geometry (just an example because thats what we are doing right now in math) I tell her that there really is no good reason.  Unless she likes it, loves it, is fascinated by it and wants to do something career wise that uses it, I really don't see the point.  I'm 46 and I'm pretty sure its never been something that I needed in my life.

I'm feeling frustrated these days because there never seems to be enough time to do all the things we WANT to do (think Wishing Well etc) because we have to spend time doing lessons.  If the girls were in school I would have time to do it...I would have time to do ALL the things.  But we chose to homeschool, for the most part I am very happy with that choice, and so I am trying to figure out how to manage the time AND learn.

Which leads me to my thought today...what on earth did I actually learn in school and maybe its better to just follow the girls lead and learn that way.  I mean with SOME guidance of course.

We are interested in politics, so we're studying the Constitution.  We ALL are into this.

We are learning and reinforcing math lessons by doing our Wishing Well stuff.  They are riding and learning about caring for horses, they are getting WAY more music than they would in regular school, WAY more art too.

I guess my struggle lately is that we are so busy doing "things" that I get stressed out when its time to sit down and do the "school" part.  We end up battling over it and the day gets ruined.  No one wanted to do our science unit yesterday - geology, which I chose because we all really love pretty rocks and I though it might be interesting - so I just said forget it, and we just didn't do it.

It makes me feel like I'm failing them in some ways.  That they would be better off sitting in a class room all day "learning how to learn" and at least being exposed to different things so that their interests might be peaked by something that I wouldn't have though of.

I guess I'm writing this to make myself feel better and to feel like I am actually doing things right at least on some level.

Being a parent is hard.  We want to do everything we can for these people we are raising. We want them to be happy and successful and smart and confident.  To be productive members of society.  To make an impact.  To maybe even change their world.

I feel selfish sometimes because the EASY thing to do is to just throw them back into the regular school system and say "Whatever, its not my problem now".  I would have all the time I want to dedicate to the things I am involved with, to my own song writing, to my home, my friends, to cooking and exploring...and basically just all the selfish things that I want to do for ME.  But, I have chosen 'hard'.  I'm choosing to study my girls and how they learn and what they are interested in.  Who they already are and what their strengths are.  Who they want to be.  What their dreams are and pouring in to them.

I THINK that if I just focus on doing that, focus on exposing them to the world and seeing what they are in to and then going in THAT direction, they WILL learn to learn.  Maybe even better than if they were just following the "regular" path?  I guess we'll see.

I am maybe writing this also, trying to convince myself to cut myself some slack too?  That they'll be totally fine? That they ARE learning? That I don't need to legit fight with them every day to do things that they aren't interested in? BUT as soon as I wrote that, I'm thinking that thats NOT actually true.  You DO have to do things that you don't want to do.  You DO have to do math - hahah!  But seriously.

I'm just trying to figure it out.  I write things to clear my head, and then when I reread it it helps me get a grip on what is really happening.

So, yeah.

What do you think?

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