I have been writing and erasing, writing and erasing, writing and erasing posts for days now. I have so many things that I want to say but I have zero time to do it. It is NEVER quiet here. There are very very few moments that I have to myself to actually sit and compose something or to pull my thoughts together in any sort of way that makes any sense. I have so many thoughts about what I would like to do this year. So many things that are on my heart that I really really feel like I need to do something about. But after like I said, DAYS of trying to figure it out or at very least just post a picture on the socials and say "Happy New Year!" and physically getting a headache every time I tried, this is what I have come up with.
I am homeschooling my kids.
I am focussing all of my attention on caring for my family and making our home the place we need it to be.
These things are all consuming. As I have been trying to do ALL the things, EVERYTHING has been crumbling at worst and mediocre at best. This is a big realization. I'm burnt out. I am uninspired because I don't have the time to BE inspired. The most important things in my life have been taking a back burner to things that I felt I was obligated to do. It has been stressful and Ive been yelling and freaking out a lot more than I want to. It hasn't been awful - we had a wonderful holiday season!! - and this isn't a pity post - I am really happy and like 95% at peace with this - I just wanted to share my goals and give a little heads up that we are doing great and we are going to be living in the REAL world, not so much the cyber world of social media.
My focus this year is on real everything. Real connections, real food, real peace, real time. Real EVERYTHING. I want to be completely present for my kids and husband without the nagging thought in my head that I need to make a post or share a picture or rush through a blog post or a podcast or put out a half assed song just to do it. I can't do it all and the very most important thing is taking care of the real people God has given to me to take care of.
That being said, I do have an aching heart for the way that things are in this world right now. Part of me just wants to turn the blind eye, focus ONLY on my family and just say to heck with the rest of it. But that is not what we Christians are called to do. The more I watch and observe this crazy (not good crazy) world, the more I see people - especially our kids - spiraling into loneliness and depression and just general states of disconnected "blah", the more I feel like I MUST do something. And that something is to tell the truth. On our home page thats what it says that we are - seekers of truth.
The truth is that this world is lost and in desperate need of some common sense and a good dose of Jesus. I am constantly thinking about how EVERY problem can be solved by accepting Jesus and his love. His unconditional love. Upset about something? Bring it to Jesus and then do what he would do to help be the change. Feel like you are unloved? Bring it to Jesus and know that he loved you so much that he died for your sins. That he loves you exactly the way you are but that he loves you too much to let you stay that way. For every problem there is an answer. Jesus.
I am tired of hiding the light under the bushel. Or dancing around the real answer in the hopes that I can be non offensive. Mediocrity is not inspiring and is not getting anyone anywhere. I have turned my work over to God.
I know that my mission field is first and foremost my home and my precious family. Taking care of them and nurturing them in every way. The second field is our community. Doing what I can, where I am, with what I've got. In real life.
The time suck of social media and trying to do it all is overwhelming. There can be so many benefits, but right now its just an exhausting headache. The girls love being and doing things for The Pretty Crazies, they love making the videos and podcasts and stuff...but finding the time to do them well is sometimes a challenge. We love making the Wishing Well products - thanks to all of your support with our little passion project, we are going to be donating $100 a month to Lifetime Wells!!! We are THRILLED!!!! We are definitely not going away, we are evolving. We are trying to figure out how to balance life.
Honestly, actually just being able to have a quiet half an hour to sit down and write this out has made me feel so much more inspired already! To share with you our new focus and the fire to change the world. BUT, as is always quoted from Mother Teresa - "If you want to change the world, go home and love your family". So thats the main thing I will be doing.
Thanks as always for hanging with us.